Friday, 30 March 2012

The DOOM Station 3

Imagine if every event that is happening in the world was reported to you ever second of every hour. Now imagine you can put a good and moderate filter on this incoming information. All of a sudden you have a flood of negative information with no end in sight and you would begin to feel that world was coming to an end. And of course, this is what the media wants you to believe. IF the world is coming to an end then you better keep on watching because only then will you be prepared for it.

Welcome to modern broadcasting 101. Get a constant stream of juicy negative information from all over the world, use a big ass strainer to get to the nittiest and the grittiest of the dirty information and then make a big mud pie of gloom and doom. Now, this mud pie isn't complete without you spitting all over it. This process, called "spinning the story", is rather important to making the mud pie digestible. The use of big numbers makes it soft, chewy and extra scary and graphs that look like this add some nice flavour.

Now plop time and amount of deaths on this baby and you've got yourself a succulent piece. Like the farmer's prized pig, the larger it is... the better it'll be.

All of a sudden everyone is gathered around watching news broadcast from the DOOM station 3. Those who miss the broadcast can catch it on all the other channels and those who miss the re-broadcasts can hear about it at work! I mean, why work when we can all talk about what we saw on the news last night. Did you see that video on the swan? So sad wasn't it? Yeah, it was very sad. Did you see the video on the man whose house burnt down? Some lot of houses burning down these days... must be global warming spitting an inert gas on the houses to set it afire. Did you hear about it? Did you?

At this point we should probably turn the doom station 3 off. But then we'd feel disconnected and out of the loop. How could you not hear the news? The news is important you know... you need to know all about that swan who died in Bermuda from the invading polar bears who surfed down on the ice sheets. I wish the news was more like that... at least then I'd have a reason to stop believing it as opposed to having to weed through all of it's bull.

No comments:

Post a Comment